The Dark Night of the Soul – Part 1

Mr L. had suffered from depression for many years. One day, he lost it. He went into total delirium and ended up in a center. He was diagnosed with dementia. I always thought that this man was different than other people with that same disease. He had tremendous fears of extraterrestrials – “they” were watching him constantly. One time, in front of his wife, he grabbed my hands and proceeded to give me a palm-reading. His wife couldn’t believe it! He was afraid to take a shower or even use the bathroom for fear of flooding, etc.

This man was fascinating to me, he was so different. In his delirium, I always had to remind him, “Listen to me. You are in the 3rd dimension, not in the astral world. Come back, come back.” After two or three months he did come back, and he can’t remember anything about those times – nothing at all!

I am still thinking about him these days and wonder what he had gone through. An old expression came to mind – the dark night of the soul – so I googled it.

“The dark night of the soul is a metaphor to describe a phase in a person’s spiritual life, marked by a sense of loneliness and desolation. It is referenced by some of the religious traditions throughout the world, but in particular by Christianity.”

I found out that St Paul of the Cross’  dark night of the soul lasted 45 years from which he recovered (whooof – that must have been a trip!). Mother Teresa’s dark night was from 1948 until her death in 1997 (whooof – another trip that is way too long). Here is an article about the Revered Mother:

I was shocked! Did Mother Teresa do what she did all her life out of pure love, or as a sacrifice as is so revered and admired in Christianity? Then I thought of those saints that put pokey-belts around their waist or legs to suffer and bleed all that much more. Others, like penitents, beat themselves. I guess this is for the ones who’s lives are all to easy, so they bring this dark night of the soul upon themselves. Whatever…

Was this Mr. L.’s experience? He told me one time when he was “back,” he realized that he had an extreme fear of death. Could that singular fear be enough for someone to lose it like this? Was he accessing some past-lives where he had some terrible memories of dying? Did he balance his soul?

What is amazing now is that he realizes before his experience he was a “macho” kind of guy. His perspective about life and his relationships with his family have now been renewed. He is all about love.

One day he said to me, “You know Cathy, what is amazing about my depression is that no matter how far in the dark I might have been, there was always a tiny speck of light that came through when I least expected it.”

What else? His name is Mr. Lamour!



  1. verewig said,

    April 9, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    I hope you enjoyed your lunch. Are you also in the Southern Hemisphere?

    Within love all paradoxes resolves. Within love opposites unites. Within the heart is the sacred marriage chamber, where the Hieros Gamos gives birth to our new unfoldment.

    Love and Blessings,

    • thevoicecontinues said,

      April 9, 2010 at 7:38 pm

      Lunch is well digested by now and no, I happen to live in france right now where spring is in the air!

      I’ll have to google Hieros Gamos! You learn someting new everyday…

      I am curious as to how you feel that mother energy. I know from your blog that you write in poetry but how do you see her? Feel her? Also I’d like to know if you see people changing in … South Africa?

      I know that your name, Sophia, stands for wisdom, so I don’t need to go into that one for our future. It’s reaeaeally needed right now!

      Love and all to you, Cathy

      • verewig said,

        April 10, 2010 at 11:18 am

        How do I feel/see the mother energy? What I have experienced in my life and what I know others who work with feminine divine have also experienced, is that first you will receive a vision. In my case I saw a veiled divine being who then rapidly proceeded to change into multiple images of women, all ages, nationalities, shapes and sizes and then gave me an enigmatic message. After that she gets to work in your life! Most of us are surprised that your life gets turned upside down when working with the mother energy, but that’s what she does. She is the creative energy in all its myriad forms. Creation means change. She is the Fiery Intelligence. Mostly it is a knowing, but I often feel, see , hear and even smell. The energy itself feels hot to me. Personally, when I feel the energy flowing, I feel light headed. But as you know there are graduations in experiencing the spiritual. I find the Kabbalah very useful as a map for what one experiences. I am a Sophian Gnostic Circle leader and teacher. My name actually led me to discover the Sophians.

        Hieros Gamos is the sacred marriage in alchemical terms or the Mystical Union.
        As for South Africa; at present there is a regression in the relationships, which is only natural in the course of events; unresolved issues that needs to be resolved. Deep lasting change does not happen overnight, but in general there is a desire to make it work, and an appreciation for each other’s differences. The biggest problem at present is corruption and crime with materialism unfortunately very much having taken root. Although as they say; life in Africa is not for sissies, I still would not want to live anywhere else in the world. To see real evolutionary change in action is a gift indeed.
        PS. In my post “Organic Wisdom” I wrote about that aspect of wisdom. about th

      • thevoicecontinues said,

        April 10, 2010 at 2:51 pm

        Many thanks Sophia for sharing. Glad that The Veiled One has connected us!!! 🙂 Who knows what she has in mind?

        In Light, Cathy

      • verewig said,

        April 11, 2010 at 2:56 pm

        Ah, she moves in mysterious ways.
        light and love,

  2. verewig said,

    April 9, 2010 at 9:26 am

    I would not say that one decides to go there; it’s rather that she calls you. This is perhaps why they say the spiritual gift of fearlessness is what the Black Goddess bestows upon those most intimately acquainted with her. Embracing the Black Goddess we get real and we learn to accept Reality as It Is. Indeed, within the her womb you see yourself reflected as in a mirror, and depending upon your own state of consciousness, she will appear as either wrathful or blissful. Essentially, we are talking about embracing and integrating the Shadow Self; Some may say that this is “dangerous,” but look into religions in which the Shadow Self is rejected and oppressed, and notice the violent eruptions of the Shadow Self that are prevalent with those practicing such a view; then look into forms of spirituality that embrace and integrate the Shadow Self, who acknowledge the black goddess, and you will find that they are not as prone to externalize the violent inclination in such wild and unconscious outbursts. The very process of creation always involves destruction in the creation of the new, hence the womb and the tomb. When she enters you life everything gets turned upside down, inside out, but transform your life she will. Lol. But ‘But then again, can we separate the dark moon from the full moon? So wonderful to discuss this subject with you, so few will even broach it, yet, sooner or later, to one degree or another, all will experience the dark mother.


    I added your blog to my Blogroll. My blog is only a week old.

    • thevoicecontinues said,

      April 9, 2010 at 11:49 am

      Well, I find myself in a paradox again!
      I feel the being of the Goddess and I also feel her powers. I also feel the being of the God and feel his love. Her power, if not conter-balanced with Love, can be a strange place to go. Power is not judging, it is neither good or bad. Power is just power. Yes our past history is full of self destruction, not only between ourselves and to ourselves, but we do it to our planete too, let alone space now. This is the mis-use of power, so she will seem wrathfull. This is why I say that one must be in balance. Going within, being aware is what is important now. Your mirror of her is your willingness to Love. Once you touch that Love part of your Self is where magic is, the sperm and the egg, the coocoon and the butterfly, the sun and the moon, a kundalini rising, a galaxy and on and on…
      The maculine needs the feminine to create. They are inseparable. And again, this is within, man and woman, in various myths. This is who we are, naturaly. So yes, let’s get back in touch with our Selves so we may all tranform so that the Gods and the Godesses may live in peace!

      Thank you for making my brain work. Time for lunch now. I’ll add you on too!
      Blessings to you too, Cathy

  3. verewig said,

    April 8, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Dark Nights of the Soul is a subject that fascinates me. I have written quite extensively on it and there is always more. From my research so far it always occurs when boundaries of paradigms are in the process of being transformed. As when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly metaphorically.

    I look forward to see your perspective.


    • thevoicecontinues said,

      April 8, 2010 at 6:19 pm

      Hi Sophia,
      Thank you for commenting so I could discover your amazing blog!
      I guess that, like me, you enjoy going into the dark places, a womb that is still so missunderstood, an area of great alchemy and transformation. I feel that it is of feminine archetypes like Isis, Mary, Tefnut (these days), etc. It is where the soul resides.
      Enjoy being the butterfly!
      Peace & Light, Cathy

      • verewig said,

        April 8, 2010 at 10:35 pm

        Indeed, Cathy, the womb of the Dark Mother (Kalli Immah, Kalli Shemesh)is after all the source of creation. In these times it is essential for us to begin to understand her, bring her back from her exile.

      • thevoicecontinues said,

        April 9, 2010 at 7:53 am

        Yes it is time. It might be important to say to that when one decides to go there, it is essential to be in balance within. This side, as it is for me my right side, is very powerfull. It is the soul, the spirit, power and also where all of our fears are stored. I wonder if this is not the reason for “mental diseases”. She can destroy you and live you wondering into other worlds. When one treats her with respect, she will do magic as she is the bringger of light. I don’t know, I don’t study or research. I just get it through meditation and healing, learning with spirit guides. Life is fun!

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